Ceriteraku

wah! it has been months since my last update……

well that reflects my lack of enthusiasm in blogging but however, my extra time gets my writing mode into action.

currently I’m doing a 2-month elective at one of the leading hospitals in Msia. i still have a week to go.

we final year students can choose anywhere in the world for our elective and for me of cos msia is the destination, mainly to have a long holidays. i had a month and a half holiday prior to my elective. But its almost ended and argghhh! i have to go back to auckland in less than a fortnight!

sad but i cant wait for this year to end!

Just one observation that caught my attentiont he most during my posting here. I dont understand why hierarchy is praticed quite significantly here. in the wards, the consultants (not all of them thank to God!) come at his own time letting the junior officers to do the job first. when they arrived, they will do the round all over again (or partial ward round). one good thing about this is, it will help the junior officers to develop their responsibility and confidence, and not just waiting for the superior to do all the jobs but what i hate the most is, this leads to a bad time management and finally piling up the works! this later causes lotsa problems like poor performance due to tiredness, mismangement and so on.

I prefer if all the team members come at the same time, manage patients collectively at the same time. Its not only time saving but the juniors can learn directly from the consultants maximally.

I did ask about this matter  to the doctors (not the consultants cuz i dont wanna be a bitch) and they say this follows the hierarchy and it always been like that for years. its like a tradition. however, not all consultants are like this because they might have other important things in the morning. and my comment here is for the disciplines that I do during this elective. no idea if this happens in other departments too.

tapi jika kita tengok, masyarakat memang ada hirarki berdasarkan apa jua klasifikasi tapi yang penting, pada Allah amal ibadat kita yang menempatkan kita berada pada kirarki yang mana.

            It’s the time of the year yet again when goodbye is so permissible and you are not sure of how to deal with the emotion ( I know i dont know how). Every end of the year, the same thing happens. Yea, to say Goodbye! Its difficult.

(suddenly I’m wordless, the only thing running in my mind is the flash of memories)

Nak je cakap jangan tinggalkan Auckland, stay for another year but its ridiculous cuz life goes on. We are on different road. We always realize the value of something when we are about to lose it. But I know, this is not a real goodbye, I mean its not permanent. We still can meet up some other times. This thought helps me to handle goodbye with less misery, I guess! Hehehe

We need friendship. I can’t imagine my life as a lone-ranger cuz all this while, I need someone for almost everything. Dari kejut subuh, masak, dinner, nasihat, bercerita pasal seharian, gaduh and bla…bla…bla…. 

So for those who are leaving Auckland (and those who already left), I just wanna say Its and honour to know you and I will remember korang ’sokmo’ ( I love this Kelantan word which means ‘always’). terima kasih atas persahabatan selama ini and seterusnya. Sorry salah silap and InsyAllah kita jumpe lagi. Aku tak kan lupakan korang walaupon aku famous giler nanti(wahahahaha! sorry nak berangan jap). Also many2 good luck for your future. Lets create the future as we cant predict it!

             Well, i spent most of my sleepless nights with things in my mind about life. I do feel that as we get older our life gets complicated. Years before, my life was easy, no major problems. Life was full with easy daily activities like attending classes, doing easy bitsy homework, arguing about stupid stuff with goofy frens, worrying about pimples (its not like I dont have pimples now tho I dont understand why I still have this issue, Its like I never age…wahahahaha) and bla bla bla….

As my age climbing another ladder, there are lots of things in my mind. I have visions. At certain age, I wanna be this and that and I have to be patient. Someday my dreams will come true. InsyAllah.

So whts the issue now? I wanna move on. I’m happy for my frens who have moved on with new chapter of life, as much as I envy their life. I’m a student still and I’m thankful for life that i have now but I wanna go into career life. However most of my frens said student life is more fun than career life but its been a long haul of journey to me and life is not about fun for most. I wanna make money. I still have other things that i wanna pursue.

Gotta be patient. I believe someday I will get what I want. I just passed my final exam which means I move forward another step. Thank you Allah for granting my prayers. Tho life gets complicated, I comfort my thought by saying cherish every bits of your life now cuz tomorrow might not be the same as today. Live life to the fullest!

Really I want to follow this words of wisdom from one of the most renown Khalifs:  Saidina Umar bin Abdul Aziz:

‘Bekerjalah kamu seolah-olah kamu akan hidup seribu tahun lagi, dan beramallah kamu seolah-olah kamu akan mati esok hari.’  (work hard for you to live another thousand years and pray as you going to die another day)

I don’t know why, everytime I read someone’s blog it stimulates me to update my blog. Yea, I’ve been reading few blogs during this holiday which belongs to my frens and my frens’ frens. I do gain a lot of things from reading them. I just wonder why people blogged? Like myself, I don’t like writing but I like to express myself in many ways and I think writing is one of the ways. To express myself? By saying ‘Myself’ here is referring to my feeling, my thoughts or opinions, my activities, my ups and downs, my bla…bla..bla……

Then again, by blogging do I make my life less private? By blogging do I make myself predictable to others? Does it make me hunger for attention? One of my friends said blogging is like writing a diary but u publicise it. Diary is something for u to keep it to yourself, out of others reach and when u publicise

ur

diary then it is a blog. Hmmmm….cam mana tu?

Well it is up to you how to define

ur

blog or which direction u wanna go. After all it’s your blog. If people think ur writings are silly, or just another attention seeking behaviour or whtever, then they should read other blogs which they think more appealing and educational (urgghh boringgg!) and so on.

I do like blogs that stimulate my thinking and I wish I could write stuff like that but my small brain with IQ score just slightly higher than Paris Hilton (sorry girl! I love u but don’t wanna be u!), I don’t think I’m capable of doing that, not just yet….

Happy blogging people.

p/s: holiday almost ended…sedey yang amat cuz I know after this it will be work..work…and work…no play!…uarghhh…buhsan! (but I’m going for bowling tomorrow… I mean later, its already 4-ish am now)

and ooh yea, happy fasting too!

I am on holiday. Yey! Although it just for a week but still…better than not having holiday at all. Now I feel like updating my long-abandoned blog. [I guess I don’t enjoy being in the blogland that much, do I?]

What has been going on lately? Here’s the list:

1. Attending lectures. Btw, not attending lectures anymore. Its all done!!!!                                                                                     2. Finished up my labmed essay…man! That essay was such an absobloodylutely pain in the ass!!!!                                               3. Arranging my elective. Yup! Still doing it. HUSM or HKB???           4. Finding air tickets for summer holidays. Hmmm…convenience against hassle/money saving? I think this question leaves me unbooked.                                                                                  5. Study…study…study…yup!!!!                                                      6. Organising the notes that I have to revise.

Hmmm….what a boring list, right? I should stop it right there. So, here is the actual story……

Last weekend, we had an early merdeka night celebration - ‘malam sireh pulang ke gagang’ was the theme. I offered myself to sing a song for the night, as part of the performing crew-lah. Yes I did! I sang my kinda own rendition of ‘Lagenda’, a tribute to our front leaders in the past and the present, also to pejuang2 negara. This is not something that I usually do in fact I never did this kind of thing before. (I mean the volunteer-to-perform part).

Why o why did I do this? It was totally not a platform for me to be under the spotlight or try to be the glam-it guy or getting myself a fan base. Never intended to ‘capub’. The main reason was for me to be upfront challenging my nerve. I do have stage fright. Darah gemuruh orang kata! I do think this is a good practice for me to tame my savage nervousness. Wahahaha!

So, this performance was really a big challenge for me. Before my turn to sing, I was restless, jittery and clammy. I couldn’t feel my legs. During the singing, my nerve controlled my whole body but I did it anyway. It turned out hmmm…fairly OK, I guess. Thanks to my friends who gave support. Also thanks to those who ‘kutuk2’ but I know u guys were playing fun, rite! I am glad I did this and I am not regretting it. Will I say my nerve is ok now? Hmmm..we’ll see…..

Anyway, the night was fun. Food was great. I like it so much although I was left with no meat (only chicken left and rice and fruit chutney of cource) cuz I performed during the dinner. I love the dikir barat performance mainly because it was 95% in Kelantanese. I am not being biased but to me dikir barat should be in kelantanese dialect. Baru ade feel. I love the silat too. Mantap giler! Guys, don’t mess with the silat-ers, nanti tak pasal2 kene tendangan jurus ke-14 diorang!!!! Other performances include band, another solo singing, pantomime, dances (Chinese, malay, India, modern), and sajak. That’s all folks!                                                                        Happy 51st merdeka!

p/s: I miss the merdeka celebrations dekat sekolah dulu . Ade citer hantu jepon marching tgh2 malam. Karut je!

I just wanna share with you guys an article from the Utusan Malaysia, just a small reminder. I didnt officially have the copyright to cut n paste into my blog but I think good things don’t need restrictions.

Jangan putus asa berdoa Oleh Mohd. Yaakub Mohd. Yunus 30 Jun 2008 / 25 Jamadil Akhir 1429 -

Kumpulan utusan SABAN hari umat Islam di seluruh pelosok dunia memanjatkan doa kepada Allah SWT dengan harapan segala permohonan diperkenankan-Nya. Namun tidak semua doa daripada seseorang insan itu termakbul. Lantaran itu, sesetengah pihak tertanya-tanya kenapa doanya itu tidak berhasil sedangkan Allah telah berfirman: Berdoalah kamu kepada-Ku nescaya Aku perkenankan doa permohonan kamu. (Ghaafir: 60) Disebabkan perasaan kecewa kerana tanggapan bahawa permohonannya itu seakan-akan tidak dimakbulkan, maka timbul perasaan putus asa. Sehingga ada yang meninggalkan amalan berdoa yang sebenarnya merupakan salah satu ibadah yang dimuliakan Allah. Nabi SAW bersabda: “Tidak ada sesuatu yang lebih mulia di sisi Allah dibanding doa”. (riwayat Tirmidzi)

Hakikatnya, Allah SWT adalah Tuhan yang Maha Adil dan Dia sentiasa mengotakan janji-janji-Nya. Namun hamba-hamba-Nya adakalanya gagal untuk memahami hikmah di sebalik segala keputusan Allah. Kita merasakan apa yang dipinta daripada-Nya itu merupakan yang terbaik untuk diri kita sedangkan Allah lebih mengetahui segala-galanya dan setiap keputusan-Nya itu memiliki hikmah yang adakalanya tidak disedari oleh seseorang insan. Ada ketikanya apabila Allah tidak memperkenankan sesuatu permintaan hamba-Nya disebabkan kerana Allah ingin memberikan sesuatu yang lebih baik dari apa yang dipinta. Nabi SAW bersabda: “Tidaklah seorang Muslim berdoa kepada Allah dengan sebuah doa yang tidak berisi dosa dan permintaan untuk memutuskan silaturahim melainkan Allah akan mengurniakan kepadanya salah satu dari tiga perkara: Allah akan segera memakbulkan doanya atau Allah akan menyimpan doanya sebagai pahala di akhirat atau Allah akan menghindarkan dirinya dari keburukan semisalnya. Mereka berkata: Kalau begitu kami harus memperbanyakan berdoa. Nabi bersabda: Apa yang Allah kurniakan kepada kalian lebih banyak dari yang kalian minta”. (riwayat Imam Ahmad)

Begitulah resam seorang insan yang selalu lupa tentang apa yang telah dikurniakan Allah yang hakikatnya lebih banyak berbanding permintaannya yang dianggapnya tidak dimakbulkan itu. Malah menerusi hadis di atas dapat kita fahami bahawa ada waktunya Allah menggantikan apa yang dipinta oleh hamba-hamba-Nya itu dengan menghindarkan diri mereka dari ditimpa kemalangan ataupun apa-apa jua bentuk musibah.

Ada ketikanya Allah menangguhkan untuk memperkenankan sesuatu permintaan dan dikurniakan sebagai ganti berupa ganjaran pahala di akhirat yang tentu sekali akan lebih memberi manfaat yang besar kepada hamba-hamba-Nya. Insan tetap insan yang sebagaimana telah kita semua sedia maklum terbelenggu dengan pelbagai kelemahan. Kenapa tatkala merasakan Allah seperti tidak memperkenankan doa-doanya, seseorang insan itu tidak terlebih dahulu melihat kekurangan yang ada pada dirinya sendiri. Bagaimana mungkin Allah ingin menjawab permintaannya itu sekiranya seseorang itu sentiasa bergelumang dengan perbuatan maksiat serta meninggalkan segala kewajipan yang telah diperintahkan oleh Allah dan Rasul-Nya. Sabda Rasulullah SAW: “Demi Allah yang jiwaku berada di tangan-Nya, kamu harus mengerjakan segala yang baik (makruf) dan meninggalkan segala yang keji (mungkar), atau jika tidak Allah pasti akan menurunkan seksa ke atas kalian, nanti bila kalian berdoa tidak akan dimakbulkan”. (riwayat Tirmidzi)

Tidak dapat dinafikan kelalaian seseorang dalam menurut perintah Allah dan juga tewasnya seseorang dengan godaan hawa nafsu merupakan penyebab utama terhalangnya kurniaan kebaikan (seperti mudah termakbulnya doa) daripada Allah terhadap hamba-hamba-Nya. Firman-Nya: Sesungguhnya Allah tidak mengubah apa yang ada pada sesuatu kaum sehingga mereka mengubah apa yang ada pada diri mereka sendiri. Dan apabila Allah menghendaki untuk menimpakan kepada sesuatu kaum bala bencana (disebabkan kesalahan mereka sendiri), maka tiada sesiapapun yang dapat menolak atau menahan apa yang ditetapkan-Nya itu, dan tidak ada sesiapapun yang dapat menolong dan melindungi mereka selain daripada-Nya. (al-Ra’du: 11) Mana mungkin Allah SWT akan memperkenankan sesuatu permohonan jika hamba-hamba-Nya tidak mempedulikan perkara halal dan haram dari segi sumber rezeki, pemakanan dan pakaian-pakaiannya dalam kehidupan seharian. Firman Allah: Wahai Rasul-rasul, makanlah dari benda-benda yang baik lagi halal dan kerjakanlah amal-amal soleh; sesungguhnya Aku Maha Mengetahui akan apa yang kamu kerjakan. (al-Mukminun: 51). Dan Dia berfirman: Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Makanlah dari benda-benda yang baik (yang halal) yang telah Kami berikan kepada kamu, dan bersyukurlah kepada Allah, jika betul kamu hanya beribadat kepadanya. (al-Baqarah:172). Kemudian Baginda menyebutkan tentang seseorang yang sedang dalam perjalanan panjang, rambutnya kusut dan berdebu. Dia berdoa sambil menadahkan tangannya ke langit, dia berucap: Ya Rabbi, Ya Rabbi, sementara makanannya haram, minumannya haram, pakaiannya haram dan dia dikenyangkan dengan makanan yang haram, lalu bagaimana mungkin doanya dimakbulkan. (riwayat Imam Muslim)

Sikap terburu-buru sesetengah insan dalam meminta doanya agar dimakbulkan segera sehinggakan wujud perasaan putus asa apabila permintaan tersebut tidak tercapai merupakan antara faktor yang menyebabkan terhalangnya doa itu diterima oleh Allah SWT. Rasulullah SAW bersabda: Akan dimakbulkan doa salah seorang di antara kamu selagi dia tidak terburu-buru lalu dia mengatakan: Aku sudah berdoa namun tidak dimakbulkan bagiku. (riwayat Imam al-Bukhari) Sewajarnya setiap insan tidak putus harapan dalam berdoa dan tetap memperbanyakkan amalan berdoa. Keyakinan bahawa Allah SWT akan memperkenankan doa hamba-hamba-Nya juga merupakan faktor yang dapat mempermudahkan termakbulnya doa.

Sekiranya doa itu diyakini sebagai ibadah maka hendaklah kita menghadapkan doa itu ikhlas hanya kepada Allah SWT tanpa sebarang perantaraan yang bertentangan dengan syarak dan tatacara berdoa itu juga hendaklah bersesuaian dengan sunah Rasulullah agar ia diterima oleh Allah SWT. Doa itu hendaklah dibaca dengan perasaan penuh rendah diri di hadapan Allah dan dengan suara yang perlahan. Firman-Nya: Berdoalah kepada Tuhan kamu dengan merendah diri dan (dengan suara) perlahan-lahan. Sesungguhnya Allah tidak suka kepada orang-orang yang melampaui batas. (al-A’raaf: 55)

Justeru, hendaklah setiap insan melazimkan diri mereka dengan berdoa. Pada masa yang sama hendaklah setiap insan itu juga berusaha untuk memperbaiki kekurangan diri dalam menurut segala perintah Allah SWT dan meninggalkan larangan-Nya agar ia dapat memudahkan termakbulnya doa.

p/s: Sometimes our daily activities seem to take away the essential time to pray and talk to God. We have all the priveleges to do things that we enjoy the most but we make tonnes of excuses when it comes to God. Lets use our time on the good causes, for our own benefit here and the hereafter.

Good morning upper east siders (Lol!)

I’m currently on holidays. I have plenty of time though I got many things to do, mostly relating to my study biz but I guess I do no harm by writing something on my long-abandoned blog. For this entry I just wanna share something about the early year abroad. When I met some of the juniors (1^st year students), they remind me of my junior year. I just want to say some of the syndromes that I noticed own by the students abroad:

1. The excitement:  We were extremely excited when the plane landed. Very thrilled to see the country and all the things there. Duduk dalam plane pun tak senang. Mixed emotion of excitement n sadness was too difficult to describe. Teringat kat family but at the same time, couldn’t wait to land in a new place which is far away from our beloved country.
2. The ‘ control’ behaviour – I’m not sure about this one but for me, since it was my first time in a new land, so I tried so hard to cover my ‘jakun’ness. Everything is new and different. For example, although the weather is cold outside but sometimes I refused to wear multiple layers. Nak tunjuk macho la, padahal badan menggigil kuat. However no matter how hard I hide my ‘jakun’ness, apparently orang nampak jugak. For example, it was summer when I landed here, tapi kadang2 pakai jugak jacket sebab kat

   Malaysia

   jarang pakai jaket, so nak rase la cam mane pakai jaket. So mat salleh cam tengok semacam je. May be diorg cakap ‘wassup with that asian dude wearing jacket, its summer, duh?’

3. The ‘not so-control’ behaviour -  when the weather changes and getting colder and out mouthes start to exhale ‘smoke’, time ni la baru rase betul2 duk oversea. We were like “asap kuar la dari mulut, sejuk siot pagi tadi”. We talked about it with each other. We also called people in

   malaysia

   telling them about that. Pastu, during winter, start la nak pakai gloves, nak pakai winter clothes yg mungkin dibeli di

   Malaysia

   . So some of us having the same jacket or of a similar brand. Jenama yang popular dibeli di

   Malaysia

   ialah Universal Traveller. Some of us, letak status kat ym pasal mulut berasap, or kat status mane2 je macam dekat facebook or friendster. (suka hati kitorang lah, it was the first time, we are allowed to be damn exited). Then we start uploading new picture, preferably pictures taken during a ski trip, into our web pages or sending to our family n friends in

   Malaysia

   .

4. Our face syndrome – kalau tengah jalan2 kat mane-mane and terserempak dengan orang berwajah melayu, mesti rase seronok and nak tegur je. Yang tak best nye bile tersalah tegur orang Maori, mistaken them as Malays. Tak pasal2 kene panggil idiot. Lol! Tapi yang sangat tak best nya, bila nampak orang berwajah Melayu, some of us close one eye, buat2 tak Nampak je. Why not at least smile at them.
5. Image make over -  For guys, living in oversea somehow makes us want to keep our hair long. May be want to save some penny or just want to try a new thing. So we can see some of us adapting to a new image – the long hair image. Some of them look really cool and very few of them…??? For ladies, most of their hair is already long (may be) but they do have some kind of image changes. For example, awal2 datang ramai yang berkurung, tapi lama kelamaan, masih berkurung tapi dengan accessories yang menarik. Nampak makin cantik. Overall, the sense of image/fashion is getting better, becoming more presentable. About the inner image, I can’t say anything-lah except that we have to improve ourselves and always remind each other.
6. Homesick syndrome – this is the most severe and all of us have this at some point in our life. Rindu dekat family and friends in

   Malaysia

   and rindu masakan

   malaysia

   , rindu cuaca panas and lotsa things. Kalau bulan puasa and raya, aduh! Sangat rindu. Selalu call orang tercinta di

   Malaysia

   . Lucky for us, we are not alone in this alienated land. We have each other!

7. The fusion syndrome – after a while (or quite a while), some of the foreign cultures infuse into our life. Kalau dekat

   Malaysia

   jarang je lepak2 minum kopi tp kat sini dah pandai minum kopi sampai dah tau bezakan flavour ape. Pastu cara bercakap pun dah berubah, aye! I think we do not change who we are if we assimilate some of their cultures into our life, as long as our conscience is clear. We know who we are and we know who they are. Living in a foreign place does not make us less “us” (God willing). Sweet as!

P/S: more syndromes but will update some other time (if ever).

at the very moment, my mind is so unstable. its a mixed feeling. berita buruk yg diterima 3 hari lepas cukup menguji. boleh dikatakan paling teruk dlm sejarah. apa yg dihajati tidak kesampaian. so I decided to go home, have a good holiday and recollect my thought, to analised wht have gone derailed. but up to now i cant seem to see the reason behind this damnation. I’m confused and still in denial phase. All I can say is try to accept the reality even its so bewildered. org kata ada hikmah disebalik semua. redha je.

I’m busy packing my stuff. the funny thing is this packing thingy seems to depress me more. So its better for me to have a rest and update my blog. hahaha!….boxes, tapes, clothes and everything. Arrgggh!!! where to put this, where to put tht thing. I’ve been doin this since err forever but still cant organise it well. May be because i just got my ticket today and i got 2 days before my flight. so its a bit hectic. I’m so damn excited about coming home but at the same time I’m scared and ashamed to face my parents. okay, lupakan pasal problem tu. malaysiaku….sgt dirindu. cant wait to eat nasi kerabu, nasi dagang, satay, roti canai, teh tarik. I wanna get bigger, add more pounds to my ectomorphic frame. hehehe!

well, its the end of another cademic calendar. it means some of my frens are leaving, going back home for good. susah nak cakap rasa sedih meninggalkan kawan2 sume tp perpisahan ini sekejap je, lain lah berpisah utk selama-lamanya. however rasa sedih tu ada lah. (may be i’m just a budak manja yg takut berpisah…budak lg ke??? umur berapa skarang???…tetiba ade suara menegurku…hahaha!) . tapi memang byk memories dgn bdk2 yg da grad ni. duk gelak2, outings, camping, hari raya, dinners, sgt byk. tu yg susah nk berpisah ni. How my life would be without them nx year??? (poyo ke ayat ni?)isy3. anyway, to all my frens yg akan meninggalkan auckland, i wish a very good luck for ur nx undertakings and jgn lupa kat aku ok. dah ade gaji nnt, belanja2 la. aku sayang korang sume. kepada kawan2 yg balik bercuti, have a nicest hols n hopefully can meet up with u guys! or x pun jumpe lg kat auckland nx year jugak.

bon voyage frens! n happy holidays!

Assalamualaikum….

Actually this post is about my feeling at the very moment (just an empty thought/story i guess)…

Berlalu sudah 2 minggu bulan Ramadhan. Apa yang aku rasa sebenarnya kesukaran….I admit that I’m overjoyed whenever Ramadhan comes and I also admit that its really difficult for me to embrace it well. Difficult coz I always have an excuse for everything. Lambat bagun pagi sbb sahur, ngantuk dlm kelas sbb xleh minum coffee and so on. Sigh! These are  small difficulties really. The big one is beyond my gut to put it here.

Dalam ketakutan dan kekusutan (chewah…..cam ganas gitu bahasa aku) aku cam susah nk cari tempat bergantung. Susah nk cakap kat orang. I told some people about it but it doesnt change a bit. Then I realised my big mistake. Kenapa aku x berdoa dekat Allah selama ni? kenapa x mengadu pada Dia? baru sedar yg jauh sgt rasanya dgn Allah. Well, I’m a bit confused as well. kenapa bila susah baru nk berdoa, kenapa masa lapang senang2 duk lepak sampai lupa???? x hipokrit ke tu???

Camne pon aku mintak doa jugak and lepas tu terasa lapang and slowly aku terasa sikit kelainan dengan Ramadhan ini, better than last year. So, kawan2 sume, kalu terasa malu nk mintak doa sbb rase sgt inferior or sgt ’sesat’ (not a reflection of me, ok!)….masih belum terlambat. Allah sentiasa je menerima doa kita. Kalau buntu, kalau terasa lost, jgn lupa yg kita sentiasa ada tempat bergantung. Pergantungan pada Allah sangat kukuh, terasa sgt secure.

Mesti ada yg nk ketawa pasal apa yg aku tulis kat atas tu. tapi betul, itu yg aku rasa. aku pun nk tergelak gak. whatever lah! kesukaran menghadapi Ramadhan ini masih ada. Moga separuh bahagian lagi kurang susahnya or xde susah langsung.

nak bercerita skit pasal activiti Ramadhan kat cni. Setakat ini, aku sgt bangga coz x penah miss sahur. Sahur lak, sahur yg proper, memang full nya perut. Kalu bukak puasa tu, kira ok la. Xde la grand cam kat mesia tp boleh la. Kitorg masak sendiri. Setakat ni, bukak puasa kat luar pon bila ada jemputan cam pegi pt chev, beca iftaar, kat surau Mt Street.

Haa! last week aku g bukak pose kat Pt Chev, majlis bukak pose yg dianjurkan oleh Msian/Sporean society setiap saturday. nak dijadikan cerita, ade abg sorang ni suruh aku jd bilal mase terawih. aku try cari junior or sesapa yg boleh jadi bilal, tp sume tolak kat aku, alasan nya aku lebey tua! duh??? tua ke aku??? (baru masuk 21..hehehe!)

so aku stepped up la. jadi la bilal. memang berterabur, dah la dgn suara aku yg ala2 malu2 kucing (or ala2 rnb yg x jadi…hahahah!) mmg agak hancur. but hey, gimme a break! never in my life jd bilal. it was my 1st ever and i think it wasnt too bad. bende ni kecik je tp nakk jugak aku kecoh2. sampai bgtau ayah aku. dia pon gelak sbb dia tau aku ni camni. Hehehe! rindu lak kat ayah aku. Ayah aku bukan bilal tp aku pernah dgr dia jadi bilal (ganti) and i wish i got tht talent. sigh! kene belajar nih.

hmmm…7 mins to 4 am. (its 4 in the morning and the tears are pouring and i wanna make it worth the fight..tetiba kuar lagu Gwen Stefani lak…so distracted!) its about time to prepare for sahur.

jom sahor!!!!!

Ola!

Aku terfikir apa maksud judgmental sebenarnya. According to my dictionary, judgemental (spelling - judgmental is preferred for legal used, preferred in UK n NZ, also found in the Bible) is tendency of making judgement especially related to moral and personal ones. Its an adjective so its up to somebody on the degree of being judgemental and on what things to judge on. Judgemental for me is not just making bad comments or gossiping about others, its more than that, worse!.

So is it wrong to be judgemental???

Its difficult really to answer that question. My first argument which is against that behaviour - we are humble human created by God and on what basis we are allowed to judge others? Are we better than others, or is it because we think somebody has done something wrong culturally, religiously or socially so we are free to do that. The victims will normally feel discriminated and of course will avoid the group who they thought tend to be judgemental. Kesian la pada victim group ni. Kalau kita rase diorg buat salah, x payah la nk kata macam2 tp seeloknya bantu dia baiki apa yang kurang. For example, kalau kita tgk somebody wearing provocatively, patutkah kita ckp yg dia ni penyebab kpd keruntuhan moral (mostly akan jadi eye-candy subject kita). Tak patut kan….

Ok, my second argument. We live in a community. Nobody lives alone in a dungeon or somewhere far away from other beings. We have been brought up with values that tell us wht is wrong and wht is right. Sometimes we can see straight away that somebody buat benda salah. So of course some people tends to be judgemental on things they know that are wrong. X boleh jugak kita nk salahkan org yg judgemental ni sbb kalau benda2 yg obvious and so wrong or sinned, they  will be picked up easily.

Its easy to be judgemental, Kadang2 kita x tau yg kita ada sifat ni. I think most of us ada sifat ni. I would like to remind my frens, jgn la jugde org laen sbb masing2 ada kekurangan. Cuma kalau kita tau dia buat salah, perbetulkan especially those yg rapat dgn kita. Jangan nk kuarkan statement yg berani mati yg akan merosakkan hubungan. Paling teruk pon, simpan je judgement kita tu dlm diri kalau dah x bleh nk baiki kelemahan org lain. Satu lagi, kena jugak fikir yang community sekeliling kita ni sensitive. So think hard before u do things. Jgn nk fikir yg kita duk kat negara merdeka democracy, kita bebas nk express ourselves. But if u r bold enough and dont care much, then just be yourself-la.

Just be sensible.