Ceriteraku

Assalamualaikum….

Actually this post is about my feeling at the very moment (just an empty thought/story i guess)…

Berlalu sudah 2 minggu bulan Ramadhan. Apa yang aku rasa sebenarnya kesukaran….I admit that I’m overjoyed whenever Ramadhan comes and I also admit that its really difficult for me to embrace it well. Difficult coz I always have an excuse for everything. Lambat bagun pagi sbb sahur, ngantuk dlm kelas sbb xleh minum coffee and so on. Sigh! These are  small difficulties really. The big one is beyond my gut to put it here.

Dalam ketakutan dan kekusutan (chewah…..cam ganas gitu bahasa aku) aku cam susah nk cari tempat bergantung. Susah nk cakap kat orang. I told some people about it but it doesnt change a bit. Then I realised my big mistake. Kenapa aku x berdoa dekat Allah selama ni? kenapa x mengadu pada Dia? baru sedar yg jauh sgt rasanya dgn Allah. Well, I’m a bit confused as well. kenapa bila susah baru nk berdoa, kenapa masa lapang senang2 duk lepak sampai lupa???? x hipokrit ke tu???

Camne pon aku mintak doa jugak and lepas tu terasa lapang and slowly aku terasa sikit kelainan dengan Ramadhan ini, better than last year. So, kawan2 sume, kalu terasa malu nk mintak doa sbb rase sgt inferior or sgt ’sesat’ (not a reflection of me, ok!)….masih belum terlambat. Allah sentiasa je menerima doa kita. Kalau buntu, kalau terasa lost, jgn lupa yg kita sentiasa ada tempat bergantung. Pergantungan pada Allah sangat kukuh, terasa sgt secure.

Mesti ada yg nk ketawa pasal apa yg aku tulis kat atas tu. tapi betul, itu yg aku rasa. aku pun nk tergelak gak. whatever lah! kesukaran menghadapi Ramadhan ini masih ada. Moga separuh bahagian lagi kurang susahnya or xde susah langsung.

nak bercerita skit pasal activiti Ramadhan kat cni. Setakat ini, aku sgt bangga coz x penah miss sahur. Sahur lak, sahur yg proper, memang full nya perut. Kalu bukak puasa tu, kira ok la. Xde la grand cam kat mesia tp boleh la. Kitorg masak sendiri. Setakat ni, bukak puasa kat luar pon bila ada jemputan cam pegi pt chev, beca iftaar, kat surau Mt Street.

Haa! last week aku g bukak pose kat Pt Chev, majlis bukak pose yg dianjurkan oleh Msian/Sporean society setiap saturday. nak dijadikan cerita, ade abg sorang ni suruh aku jd bilal mase terawih. aku try cari junior or sesapa yg boleh jadi bilal, tp sume tolak kat aku, alasan nya aku lebey tua! duh??? tua ke aku??? (baru masuk 21..hehehe!)

so aku stepped up la. jadi la bilal. memang berterabur, dah la dgn suara aku yg ala2 malu2 kucing (or ala2 rnb yg x jadi…hahahah!) mmg agak hancur. but hey, gimme a break! never in my life jd bilal. it was my 1st ever and i think it wasnt too bad. bende ni kecik je tp nakk jugak aku kecoh2. sampai bgtau ayah aku. dia pon gelak sbb dia tau aku ni camni. Hehehe! rindu lak kat ayah aku. Ayah aku bukan bilal tp aku pernah dgr dia jadi bilal (ganti) and i wish i got tht talent. sigh! kene belajar nih.

hmmm…7 mins to 4 am. (its 4 in the morning and the tears are pouring and i wanna make it worth the fight..tetiba kuar lagu Gwen Stefani lak…so distracted!) its about time to prepare for sahur.

jom sahor!!!!!

This entry was posted on Friday, September 28th, 2007 at 9:02 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.